For most people December marks a time to reflect on yearly goals and make new ones. Being a December baby, December also marks the beginning of another trip around the sun, another year of graceful aging (wink wink) and another year of getting wiser (or covering up more gray hairs – what do you mean they aren’t blonde). This year I celebrate a trifecta: birthday, end of year, and end of a decade. As 2019 comes to a close, as this decade draws to an end I think about how much as changed, what’s stayed the same, and what I would like to accomplish in the future. I’m older, wiser and Its the end of a decade.
January 2010 – December 2019
We went from a family of three to a family of four. My kids are now 15 and 9 1/2. We have a high school freshman with all that entails, and a kiddo in elementary school. Some of my friends have kids that are learning to drive or are in college, and some of my friends have kids just starting preschool or kindergarten. I go from talking about concerns regarding finals, parties and teenage crap, to what’s the best way to make chicken nuggets and fun classroom parties.
We’ve moved three times – two different long term leases before finally purchasing a home, thankfully at the bottom of the market.
We had to say goodbye to our first dog miles. He became part of our family before we were a family. He was amazing with the kids when they were babies and a loyal friend as they got older. After more than a year passed, we welcomed another fluffy furball into our family. Finn, who is now 3, is a ball of energy and never misses an opportunity for food dropping on the floor. I love labs!
We lost some family members in the last five years. My grandmother, my rock, was 97 when she passed. And, my husband’s great aunt was 103. We’ve been very fortunate. They both lived long and full lives filled with love, loss, family, adventure and incredible experiences that would be difficult for today’s young people to even comprehend.
We closed a business that I loved. The business allowed me to wear many hats (owner, marketing, public relations, and HR.) And, I loved our staff, many who were with us for years. But, it was time to move on. Our kids needed both parents around and not a constant tag team, especially on weekends. It was a good decision, but a tough decision. I also went back to my roots for a little while and did some freelance producing for the local PBS station. It was great to get my creative juices flowing again. And, I discovered blogging. While this starts and stops and starts and stops, I hope to be more consistent in the future.
Older, Wiser and End of a Decade
I started the decade in my late 30’s and this month I turned 48. I use to care what people thought of me, but as I’ve gotten older I tend to not give a crap as much. I also used to think I had to be or act a certain way when I turned 40 and boy was I wrong. That may be for another post. Anxiety has crept into my life. Maybe it’s always been there, maybe it’s that age thing again. Thats tbd. I’ve gained pounds, I lost pounds and I’ve gained them back again. It’s been a constant struggle and my body has told me repeatedly to fuck off, but I’m still determined to reconnect with my inner athlete.
My circle of friends has come and gone. There have been some major disappointments and some pleasant surprises. There are people who have judged me by who I’m friends with and determined I’m not good enough for their clique – apparently they still exist, except now its what golf club or which gate you live behind. And to those people, thank you for opening my eyes. And now I know why some of your kids are assholes too.
I have also met some of the most genuine people who will pick you up when you’re down and are always willing to crack a bottle of bubbly. I’m looking at you A-Team! I’ve also have had the pleasure to reconnect with some of my sorority sisters. I treasure you and our bond will sail on. I still have some old friends who know where the skeletons are buried. We don’t talk or see each other often, but you are my foundation. I love all of you.
Follow the Sunshine
My mom once told me that my 40’s were supposed to be great years. In reality, my 40’s have kicked my ass. I don’t expect things to get easier. In fact I already know 2020 will be challenging. I know, that’s not the glass is half full approach to looking at things. My goal for 2020 is to be more optimistic, be present, nurture friendships, get out of my comfort zone, and follow the sunshine (whether that’s a person, place, thing or idea) and allow it to become part of me. Happy New Year!